I’m on a “rage diet”.
Yep. I’m gonna call it that now even though it is neither a rage nor a diet. I just think it’s an appropriate term for when I go on one of my obsessed spammage times.
So my Rage Diet for tonight is…*drumroll* Autism! YAY! We’re all so happy to have this become an issue again! I guess it’s just because when I was 9 and was diagnosed I didn’t really care. I didn’t think about it because it held no meaning - it was only a word. Now-a-days I’m WAY too fascinated by my condition and it’s annoying people (don’t deny that it is, I can always tell after-the-fact when people are bored).
Maybe I’m just a little frustrated because nobody ever actually wanted to talk to me about it. They were just like: HERE. TAKE IT! IT’S A RANDOM USELESS WORD! *flings the word “Aspergers” at me* WE’RE NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT HOW IT’S GOING TO AFFECT YOUR LIFE, WE’RE JUST GOING TO LET IT SIT IN YOUR MIND FOR YEARS UNTIL YOU GO ON A PATH TO SELF-DISCOVERY AFTER DISCOVERING OTHER TERRIBLE THINGS ABOUT YOUR PAST!
I mean, what did that ever mean to me? Because I’m starting to realize that my “grandparents” and “mother” treat me like a baby because I have AS, my stepdad is TOO tough and seems to expect me to grow out of it (or occasionally to make the best grades on the planet because he heard that Einstein had it even though he did terribly in school), and everyone else in my damn family takes the apathy route. It’s just total bullshit. I work through all this on my own, I’ve gotten WAY better at taking care of myself, but nobody really seems to care. I don’t make progress. SHE makes progress because she got over her manic-depression (oh I say “got over”, the stupid woman took her meds when force-fed)! I’ve done ALL OF THIS on my own WITHOUT the use of prescription meds! When I forced myself to get on stage in front of people, I started getting better and not freaking in front of people! I learned to control my anger issues - remember that time I tried to kill that girl on the bus and got thrown off? There hasn’t been a repeat of that, has there? I’m still really fidgety - but what else can you expect me to be - damn!
Wow, I wasn’t even this frustrated when I started writing this. Now I am. And I think I’m going to add this to my Aspie blog. Thank you and goodnight.
(Bastards and all their priorities about who the hell gets praised for making progress…)
I'm Ginger, and I can't help but get addicted to every fandom I come across (or very nearly). 